Silent Tears
by artyfan
Summary: Despite everything, the lone wolf stood alone.


She glanced into the mirror. It was rare that she did that. She couldn't care less how she looked, and it wasn't exactly convenient to look into mirrors while you hunted monsters at Artemis's side.

Angular face, framed by dark hair. Smooth, unlined skin. A healthy silver glow. Bright blue eyes filled with life. It was a face that Thalia Grace knew well. She had had years to look at it just like it was now, thanks to the gift of Artemis.

Immortality.

She was no stranger to periods of time where she aged slowly. When she had been turned into a tree atop Half Blood Hill, she had aged half as quickly as she should have. But immortality was...different.

She loved hunting, serving Lady Artemis. At first, it had seemed like it was what she had been born to do. Lead the Hunters through their lives of eternal servitude to the goddess who had offered them peace.

She remembered first accepting the duty of becoming Artemis's lieutenant. The sense of exhilaration, escaping an almost certain prophecy. Feeling like she finally had a home and a family. Feeling like even if she wasn't grateful for Artemis's generosity, that she had to accept for Zoë.

Even now, four decades later, she still felt the same emotions toward the Hunt. They needed her.

She supposed it was exciting, having a new adventure every day. That was what had drawn many girls to the Hunt. But she was a demigod, the daughter of Zeus. She would have had that anyway. The best times of her life had been when she had been running across the country with Luke and Annabeth, protecting her little sister from monsters.

Those days were long over. Luke was dead, and Annabeth was an adult. Thalia had always known that the daughter of Athena was cleverer than she, but the younger girl had still needed her. Now she had Percy, and motherhood.

Thalia felt like a rock in the middle of a stream. Still, unmoving. Eternal. Immortal. Life sped on, but around her, everything seemed to have slowed. Percy had once told her that Bianca di Angelo had expressed a similar sentiment before her death. She had been younger than Thalia, but wise beyond her years.

Wise, like Annabeth. Annabeth was a good mother. She knew full well that god blood became diluted through generations, its effects on those with it weaker as time went on. But she still taught her children to fight, using monsters as an excuse. Few monsters would come after her children, but she wanted to spend time with them.

She had always been serious when she had met Thalia. Thalia remembered joking with Luke about how she would make a great mother. She had never expected that it would actually happen. For her, it had been in the blink of an eye. For Annabeth, it had been half a lifetime.

Mortals clung to every second of their lives like time was precious. It was. When their lives passed so quickly, when the Fates willed the string to be cut after so little time, there wasn't nearly enough time to do everything they wanted. Thalia had all the time she wanted.

The worst thing about it? No one had ever told her directly, and it seemed insensitive to ask, but she knew none the less. Most of her friends had someone they cared about. Thalia's lip curled. She had spurned love years ago. The one time she had given her heart, her world had shattered, forcing her to start anew. Yes, Luke had repented. He had felt remorse and redeemed himself. But that couldn't erase the original heartbreak. Her best friend and the only man she had ever loved. That betrayal had stung.

Yes, she had refused to love again, and was always worried for her friends when they chose to. But that wasn't what hurt her. It was that despite all her hopes, she wouldn't see them again until the day she died.

All of her friends who cared for someone that deeply, someone other than a friend...they wouldn't try for rebirth. They would wait in Elysium until the day when they could be reunited. Thalia would never see them in, say, a coffee shop, or the St. Louis Arch, or the Hoover Dam.

A smile twisted her lips as she stared up at the moon. She remembered the look of relief on Luke's face when she had refused to join the Hunt when Zoë had first offered. The second they and the Hunters had parted ways, they had talked about it.

He had told her that if she had accepted, he would have gotten into a fight with a monster and gotten killed, then tried for rebirth so he could see her again. He wouldn't recognize her, he had known that, but he had told her that she was all he really cared about in life. He had wanted to see her and for her to see him, but without the pain of loneliness.

Thalia had laughed it off at the time, telling him that his comment hadn't even made sense and that he sounded like a Hallmark card. Then she had told him that she would join the Hunt the day he tried to kill her. The promise had been accompanied by a playful punch to the arm. Luke had groaned in mock agony, rubbing his arm dramatically.

She had kept her word.

Maybe he had been serious. He knew she was a Hunter. Maybe she would see him tomorrow, when she went to go fight a monster. Maybe they would end up in the Isles of the Blest together. Thalia snorted. Yeah. Right.

Annabeth. Percy. They would never be on that island, the place for heroes. The place that Annabeth had always wanted to go. Thalia was sure that Percy had always wanted that same thing. But they couldn't leave each other.

Life was lonely now. Her living friends had all settled down. Among the Hunters, she was a loner. They all loved her, and she cared about them, but she stood alone. Just like Zoë. Two rebels against the world...or at least, their dysfunctional families.

Thalia had thrown herself into the Hunt. Now, it was the only meaningful thing left. Her ceaseless training had made her strong and fast, much more so than any normal demigod. Now, even monster fighting was beginning to become monotonous. Now, she was training younger Hunters that she felt would be good, future lieutenants.

She still loved the Hunt. That's why she spent so much time training her fellow huntresses. But the monster fighting was beginning to lose its appeal, despite her love for it. She could fight a Hydra with her eyes closed. It was the travelling and the meeting of new people that prevented all those days from blending together. And she couldn't live without it.

Annabeth. Luke. Percy. The three best friends she had ever had. Ever. She would die for them, and she knew they would do the same for her. The Luke she had known, not the one who had chosen to serve Kronos. Calm, rational Annabeth. Percy, the guy who was like her brother. They had all left her behind.

Luke had died. Annabeth and Percy had married and settled down. They would grow old together. When Annabeth, her little sister by all but blood, died, she would still look fifteen. The only way to judge her age would be by looking into her eyes, the eyes of someone much older.

One of her last memories before she had become a tree was of Luke giving her a hug and lightly kissing her on her forehead. Then he had scooped up a sobbing Annabeth, and followed Grover, into Camp Half Blood. Their final embrace had been a waste of time, giving the monsters more time to kill one of them, but she was grateful for it. The warmth of Luke's embrace had given her a reason to fight harder, strengthened her resolve, reminded her that dying was better than living like a hunted animal.

She had been twelve, and no twelve year old could feel romantic love. But he had been her best friend, and she cared. She had had years as a tree to realize her feelings toward him. And mere hours after she had woken up from extended sleep, her world had shattered.

Luke.

Her Luke.

He had betrayed the gods, turned against Olympus, tried to kill Annabeth's friend.

He had poisoned her pine.

Even now, so long later, long after she had forgiven him, tears welled up in her eyes at the thought. She and Luke had vowed so long ago to never let anything harm the other. Never had she thought that he would be the one to poison her.

When Annabeth had told her, Thalia's face had hardened into an inscrutable mask. But Annabeth had known her. She still knew her. She had clamped her arms around Thalia's waist, pulling her into a hug.

Thalia, brave Thalia, the tough, brave, consummate survivor had started to cry.

She had loved him. She had been nothing to him.

Annabeth had cried, too. Annabeth had had many friends here, including some of Luke's siblings, but this moment was only for them, the people who had known him best of all.

Their family had fallen apart. They all had a new one now. Luke may have chosen rebirth. Annabeth had Percy and her children. Thalia...she had the Hunt. Unlike most families, it would last forever. But it would never bring her as much joy as an actual family.

When Annabeth had been expecting her first child, she had moaned playfully to Thalia about how she wouldn't be able to beat up Percy until after the child was born. Thalia would never know what it would be like to have a child.

She didn't want to be a mother. She had made her vow, and she intended to keep it. But still, she...wondered. What would it mean to love someone so completely?

Thalia snorted. Love someone so completely. She was being ignorant, naïve. Despite what some people thought, the power of a mother's love wasn't always a powerful thing. Her own mother...Thalia was sure she hadn't even known what it meant to love.

She realized that there were tears running down her face. All her Hunters were asleep. Thalia stood alone, pondering her life and watching the stars. Unfading beauty, like that of an immortal. The stars...they were immortal. But not like her. Not like someone who had to live every single day with no end in the foreseeable future.

Thalia stiffened. She could sense someone approaching. She shoved the hand mirror into her pocket and cleaned her face of tears, probably not successfully. She stood still until she felt the tap at her shoulder. Then she slowly turned, meeting Kara's eyes evenly, despite the torrent of emotions raging inside of her.

She scrutinized the younger girl, watching as Kara's big brown eyes got bigger at the sight of Thalia's tear streaked face. To her credit, she tried not to stare. "Aren't you tired, Thalia?"

"Nah, I'm fine," Thalia reassured her, pushing back her inky locks. She couldn't help but give Kara a small smile, her granite exterior softening for just an instant.

The girl had potential. She was a recent recruit, and Thalia had been putting in a lot of time with her. Soon enough, Kara would be a fantastic Hunter. But she wouldn't be like Thalia.

The girl was too gentle, too caring to become the lone wolf Thalia was. She had made friends with the other Hunters, forming strong bonds. She hadn't spent enough time wandering the world on her own and with friends to long for something more than the Hunt could give her.

To Thalia's surprise, Kara took her slender hand and squeezed it lightly. "You know that we all love you, right Thals?"

Thals. Only Luke and Annabeth had ever called her that. Thalia bit her lip to hold back the sudden tears that were threatening to spring to her eyes. She managed a smile. "Yeah. I know."

"We'll always be here if you want to talk," Kara pressed. Thalia nodded ever so slightly, freeing her hand from Kara's light grasp.

They would be willing to talk to her. And if there was ever a day when she couldn't look at any of them...Annabeth was still her friend, above all else.


End file.
